Ask Why
September 10th, 2008
So you didn’t get the promotion. Before you look for a new job, ask why. It’s possible you’re missing something critical for that role.
Many years ago, I was working as a “senior member of the technical staff.” I was a tester, had coordinated beta tests, much of the testing work for the last couple of releases, and was working as the tester-project-manager and helping the project manager realize what her job was. My boss left the company. I was “obviously” the next one in line for his job. I didn’t get the job. When I asked why not, I was told “You’re too valuable where you are.”
That’s a non-answer. But I did talk to my new boss, and told her I wanted to know what I needed to learn to get the promotion. She smiled and said, “people skills.” Ok. Clearly not my strengths, but I figured I could learn. I told her I wanted her to teach me. She agreed.
I put away my resume and stayed at the company another 4 years. I learned how to be a great manager. I learned how to be a great program manager. I learned how to do strategic planning, both the stupid way and ways that made sense. I doubt I would have learned how to do any of those skills that quickly without my new boss’ coaching and mentorship.
Managers, telling people they’re “not ready” or “too valuable” is a cop-out. Provide authentic feedback, offer to teach/coach/mentor, and you will have a loyal employee who will amaze you.
I stayed because I asked why and because I learned what I needed to learn. If you’re frustrated with your job, maybe it’s time to ask why, before you go look for a new one. Ask. What can you lose?
Entry Filed under: candidate, feedback
Digg it
del.icio.us
Technorati?
Reddit
Stumble
4 Comments Add your own
1. Ask a Manager | September 10th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
I love this post. It should be required reading.
2. Remus Stratulat | September 11th, 2008 at 8:42 am
Reading this post is like looking to myself 4 years ago. The difference is that I’ve left the company. I returned back after just 3 months as I figured out my place was with my old guys and they also figured out I belong with them.
I am a manager now learning a lot from my boss (the same through all this time)
3. Mark McClure | September 22nd, 2008 at 9:41 pm
Did the manager who was coaching/mentoring you stick around too? Sounds like she would be very much in demand given that her leadership and talent management skills shone so brightly.
4. ahy | October 3rd, 2008 at 6:14 am
I moved on when I didn’t get a promotion. I almost started to believe them when they told me I had so many weaknesses, but it was ok, I could work on them, they would help me.
But “help” turned out to be busywork, and constant reminders that while I might think I was good I really really wasn’t you know, and while I never thought I was perfect, I knew I wasn’t *that* bad. I decided I’d better get out before any last shreds of confidence disappeared. When I went on the market, I discovered that actually, my “weaknesses” … weren’t. I got enough offers that I finally started believing that I might be worthwhile.
I picked the one where I thought I’d learn most. I made a good choice - I learnt so much I could hardly believe it. I also started to value what I already knew and had been told for so long was worthless.
Sometimes you’re just in an insane environment, and the right thing to do is move to a saner one. Ironically, even in the insane environment, I had a really good boss. But what she could do was constrained by the insanity around her.
Leave a Comment
Some HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Trackback this post | Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed